Yes this problem arises when you are brought up in town or village and moved to city like Mumbai, Pune, Bangalore, Chennai, Delhi or to Kolkata for higher studies. It’s not only girls but the boys coming from village to city for college also face the same situation but this post is for girls and if you are a boy and want to break the wall you can read How to speak with girls.
The first thing which strike your mind is, you would have studied in a background where sitting next to the boy or speaking to him is forbidden, friends around you may make a witty comments on you if you speak with the boys so it’s not the fear to talk to boys but you are fearing for the comments from your circle.
Second one is fear of parents, you had a fear that if anyone seen speaking you with boys then it might end up in suspecting you and the fear that your parents may stop you grading in school.
Third one is, if you are speaking with boys it means they will propose you and will fall in love, boys and girls cannot be friends if they start speaking they will end up only in relationship.
The above three might be the reasons you avoided speaking with boys during your schooling. But the scenario in college is different where you find the girls from city background speaks and hangout with boys they act like there is no gender relationship so now you are in dilemma whether to speak to boys or not.
In school you are not mature enough but now in college you are so much matured and maturing ,so no one is not going to force you the decision falls in your hand.
You can just consider the below points if you are thinking on to come out of your circle.
- Boys don’t gossip as the girls do they speak about cricket , movies or some other stuff but less gossip though they speak sometimes they don’t take it serious they leave it in the place where the conversation happened so it is better to have friendship with boys than girls who always make comment on other girls and more gossips.
- Boys are so funny to talk they can make your day best and can make you laugh for silly jokes.
- You can open up that you are looking only for friendship not any other relationship be clear to them if someone in your circle approaches you. They are mature enough to understand you but if he couldn’t understand avoid him.
- In city culture you will find that some of your friends are in sexual relationship with some friends but don’t fear boys wont approach you if you are not interested.
- Respect your friends and know the limit, make them to know that you don’t want your friends to enter into your zone.
- Don’t look for the rich guys for friendship you may end up in wrong decision analyse your surrounding for at least two weeks and you can come up with some good opinion on some guys go speak to them don’t expect them to talk to you first,you are not going to propose him just a friendship lol.
- You start with your classmates its better than to start with your college mate. Because you know them very well and you can understand them better.
- Don’t seek friendship because you need something from them be open minded and find a guy with decent character.
- If you don’t like anything from them tell them openly that you don’t like this not in rude sound but in humble tome with smile.
- You can also introduce your friends to your family and get introduced to his family also so it will break the mental barrier that you guys are not strangers anymore.
- You will find that some of your friends(girls) are going for dinner, movies, group study etc., with boys because you are in friends with them you need not to say YES ,you can say NO them if you are not interested.
- You will find that boys touch girls while speaking to them casually and mostly city girls wont take it wrong but if some one is doing that to you in second day itself then be aware of them and if you don’t like to have that kind of friendship stay away.
- City guys are much more mature to understand you and they will give you some good space to feel comfortable. There is nothing in having boy as friend ,come out of your comfort zone to experiment .
- Even after college you may end up in corporate where there are lot of guys as your colleague you cannot avoid speaking to them infact you may be forced to speak to them so speaking with boys in college can help you to great extent.
They are also fellow humans like you they are not demons and all the guys are not sex predators you got a feeling that all the guys are bad because of some incidents portrayed in media’s they are exceptional believe me it won’t happen to you.
Its not a mistake to speak to a guy but don’t do mistake in finding right guy.